Do you ever get the feeling like you are always trying to catch up?

You’re trying to catch up on your “to-do” list. You’re trying to catch up to what your friends are doing or what your Facebook and Twitter mates are up to. Or, you’re just never quite satisfied with how it’s going right now. You compare, you contrast, you see if you measure up.

Well, whether you are aware of it or not, these feeling or thoughts (or even the manifestation of them in some frenzied form) cause anxiety and upset. And the reason is simple, it’s a neverending cycle of something that is impossible to catch. 

You can’t catch something that doesn’t exist.  the only thing that exhists for you is YOU in this very moment.

So, what if you instead entertained the idea that you’ve already caught up. You’ve already arrived.

Feels pretty good, doesn’t it?

The truth is you can only be doing exactly what you’re doing right now so it can only be ENOUGH. It can’t be good or bad, fast or slow, too much or too little. It can only be exactly perfect. 

This doesn’t mean that you give up your goals and dreams. And it doesn’t even mean that you simply enjoy the journey (we’ve all heard that before right?). It actually goes a bit deeper than that. It means that you act and feel as though now is IT. Not perfect but IT.

Let me explain. Let’s say you’re an entreprneur and your goal is to earn a million dollars a year. You aren’t going to get there by not planning ahead and you’re not going to get there if you can’t enjoy the  journey to the million, of course. But, also, if you live as though now isn’t IT already…that now isn’t good enough for you, you can rest assured that when you reach the million, that won’t be IT either.

The same is true when people are trying to lose weight. They put off buying new clothes until the weight comes off or they put off joining that new group until the weight comes off. But what they are telling themselves, albeit unconsciously, is that UNTIL something happens outside of themselves, they aren’t good enough. Which is why “getting” to the goal, doesn’t sustain them for very long.

This is what I call the “This Isn’t It Storyteller”. 

This storyteller has a special place in my heart because this was me for the longest time. This storyteller is easy to spot. She’s the one who is never satisfied. Her business isn’t it, her relationship isn’t it, accomplishing that goal wasn’t it, her weight isn’t it, etc.

She spends the majority of her time looking to the future as though somehow what shows up then will be “IT” but it NEVER is. This storyteller will talk to you for hours about how bad she wants something only to find that as soon as she gets it, she decides it wasn’t what she wanted all along and now she wants something else. Part of this is her ego working overtime to create more challenges and problems for her to solve. (The mind loves having something to work on.) And, part of this is simply where she is comfortable. She has become really good at being the “this isn’t it” girl and she has no motivation to change. 

Until of course she becomes aware of the pattern and that it is causing her to create stress and anxiety and upset in her life.

Transforming from Anxiety to Calm

Here are some transformational beliefs/questions that can help someone with this story understand and actually believe she has already caught up to IT.

• This is IT because it can only BE it
• What I have now is exactly what I want
• What I have now is only exactly what I can have now – I could not possibly have something else because I don’t
• It is as it should be
• The future IS never delivers. It’s not the IT that creates happiness or satsifaction, it’s the YOU that recieves it who determines it.

Exercises for the This isn’t It Storyteller:

The most powerful thing to do or to become aware of with this type of storyteller, whether it is you or a client, is that what IS is ALL that can be right now and it is EXACTLY what you need. All the money you have now is exactly what you need, the relationship you have, the clients you have, the house you have, the body you have, etc. Everything you have is exactly what you need and it is all you can have at this moment because it is all you do have. It may sound confusing but it’s 100% true. 

And, once you become aware of that truth, life becomes much more calm. There’s no chasing because you’ve already got it. There’s no comparing because…well it has nothing to do with YOU. And, there’s no judging yourself as good or bad and there’s no  ”shoulding” yourself because it’s not possible for your current situation to be any different.

So, the next time you feel yourself saying, “As soon as I do this, then ____________” or “When __________ happens, I wil be _____________”, turn the phrase around and say “Aware that I am __________ I will do ________”.

Why wait when you have IT all already?

Most of us spend most of our time hanging out in what you could call your conditioned mind. This is the place where the mind is working on, fretting about and tinkering with what is missing. This is the place where solutions are generated, strategies are exectuted and remedies designed. The conditioned mind loves nothing better than to have a problem to fix and with the way our minds often work, there are no shortages of those.

You see the mind works on preferences, our likes and dislikes, and it seeks to avoid pain (our dislikes) at all costs and maximize our pleasure (likes) as much as possible. So our mind tries to hold on to what we think is “good” and reject anything we determine “bad”. And, believes our happiness is a result of aligning our experiences with those things we experience as “good”.

But when we operate from that place here’s what happens. Our mind takes in something as bad and so we associate bad with unhappiness and we therefore try to change the situation or change our thoughts, feelings and reactions to a certain situation. Often this little dance creates relief from the problem. But, in no time at all another experience presents itself that we judge according to our preferences and we are in the middle of another problem solution boomerang dance. 

So, what if you could move from your conditioned mind to unconditioned awareness? The unconditioned mind is the one that has no structure, no preferences, no templates. It is in the place where we don’t need anything. We don’t need a solution or a plan becasue there are no problems to solve. We include all experiences and feelings without judgement becasue there is no filter. There is no better or worse, good or bad. It just IS. Nothing is left out.

When we spend time in that space whether meditating quietly on our mat or in a large group of people the sense of connection to everything and everyone is profound. If you’ve ever found that state you know it is blissful beyond measure.

But, the truth is, it’s not an easy place to stay. The ego is hell bent on taking the reins and wreaking havoc on every thought, idea and emotion that comes in. That’s okay too. The juice comes simply through being aware of what and who is in control.  This is what Peter Fenner calls the Radiant Mind. It’s the point of integration between unconditioned awareness and the conditioned body-mind. “When you live in radiant mind, you experience yourself as a unique human being, and at the same time you rest in a unified expanse of uncondtioned-bless-awareness.”

Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

Okay. So back to my question from yesterday. Why do we fight even what we know to be in our own best interests?

It turns out that one of the most important factors in helping people change habits and behaviors has to do with motivation.

Well known doctor Dean Ornish was successful in helping 77% of his patients to change their lifestyle and keep up the changes over a 3 year period by reframing the issue. Instead of motivating his patients with the fear of death, he talked to them about the “joy of living”. He knew that he needed to convince them that they could not only live longer (who wants to do that when you feel horrible?) but that they could feel better too.

George Lakoff a professor of cognitive science and linguistics at University of California Berkley tells us that “Concepts are not things that can be changed just by someone telling us a fact. We may be presented with facts, but for us to make sense of them, they have to fit what is already in the synapses of the brain. (Our frames) Otherwise, facts go in and then they go right back out. They are not heard, or they are not accepted as facts, or they mystify us: Why would anyone have said that? Then we label the fact as irrational, crazy, or stupid.” So we have to change the way we present or take in information and even more critically appeal to emotions rather than just stating facts.

The second critical piece to creating enduring change is radical change. This is based on the idea that small changes have such a small effect that the motivation to continue on is very little. Dean Ornish experienced this with his patients and you only have to turn on the TV and watch the Biggest Loser to see it for yourself.

These people are not losing the slow and steady 2 pounds a week. Some of these people are losing up to 18-20 pounds a week so they are getting a pretty quick payoff for their efforts. In addition, like Dean Ornish’s patients they are receiving education and support along the journey. The bottom line is that for most people to stick with programs or keep plugging away at a goal or a dream, they have to see results quickly and consistently or they’ll go back to the habits that got them there in the first place.

The final piece involves supporting the change. Big changes require a lot and the greater the network of support, the greater the likelihood change will endure.

So what does all of this mean? Tune in tomorrow to find out.

What if a well-informed, trusted authority figure said you had to make difficult and sustained changes in the way you think and act? If you didn’t, you would die — a lot sooner than necessary. Could you change when change really mattered? When it mattered most?

You’re probably thinking yes, of course I would. But, you’d be deluding yourself.
That’s right. Scientific research has shown the odds are in fact 9 to 1 against you.
 
Pretty upsetting isn’t it? That’s exactly what the attendees of IBM’s “Global Innovation Outlook” conference thought too when some of the top healthcare scientists and professionals in the industry shared the disturbing truths about the root causes of the health crisis and why they couldn’t do anything about it.

Founder of the Global Medical Forum, Dr. Raphael Levey told the audience, “A relatively small percentage of the population consumes the vast majority of the health-care budget for diseases that are very well known and by and large behavioral.”

So essentially they are sick because of how they choose to live their lives – not because of some genetic or environmental condition beyond their control. I’m sure you can guess what the most common behavioral issues are – too much smoking, drinking, eating, and stress, and not enough exercise.

But the real shocker came when Dr. Edward Miller, the dean of the medical school and CEO of the hospital at Johns Hopkins University turned the discussion toward research done on patients with heart disease. Heart disease surgery and related medical care account for nearly $30 billion dollars each year. And, as Miller says “If you look at people after coronary-artery bypass grafting two years later, 90% of them have not changed their lifestyle – even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle, for whatever reason, they can’t.”

So what does work? Why is change so incredibly difficult for people? What is it about how our brains are wired that resists change so stubbornly? Why do we fight even what we know to be in our own best interests?

Tune in tomorrow for the answer.

Stop thinking. Yes. I said STOP thinking. Stop getting your mind all muddled with thoughts that don’t produce results. Thoughts that keep you from being, doing, and having everything you want in every area of your life.

Think about this fact - No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. Okay, so it’s not a new concept but I find that most people (me included) rarely give this idea the weight it deserves. What this means for you is that if you’re thinking and stressing, you aren’t producing. 

Thinking leads to overwhelm. When we think, our mind starts working in overdrive – we think about how much we have to do, how little time we have, how many people want a piece of us, and how it’s our job to make everyone else happy.

No wonder we feel stressed.

Those are unproductive thoughts, they get in the way of action and they waste your precious time.

In the coming week, see how this works in your life – in your business, your significant relationships, with your kids, and in every interaction you have.

The current moment is the only thing you have. And, it is exactly how it should be. You’re either engaged in producing results or you’re thinking, but you can’t do both.

So, the next time you feel like you aren’t getting the results you want, your business isn’t doing as well as you hoped, or your relationship is not how you want it, instead of thinking about it, do something about it and find joy in exactly what you have in this very moment.

I guess Nike was onto something when they said, “Just Do It”.