I think it’s a good idea to check in with yourself on a regular basis to make sure that the things that you say you value the most are the things you are actually working toward.

For example, I often have clients that tell me freedom is their number one value but from the looks of how they are operating their business and living their life, freedom looks like it’s pretty far down on the totem pole.

Same is true when it comes to time with family and health and fitness. I’m not sure if people really value them as much as they say they do or if they just think they are supposed to value them and it sounds good for those 2 things to head their list but, again, looking in it doesn’t appear that being healthier and fit and spending more time with their families is really a priority.

Why is that?

Well I think there are 2 things going on.

1) Sometimes being brutally honest doesn’t look so pretty. Meaning for the most part if someone said their number ONE value in life is working all of the time, having recognition and being known as the top in her field, it might not be that popular, right? Especially when that value is placed above spending time with family. So, the person says family is the number one value because that is the more socially acceptable way to go but has a heck of a time actually expressing that because in all honesty she’d rather be working than doing anything else.

2) Most people have never been really taught how to line up their values with their lifestyle.

The second reason is what I’m going to focus on today. So, if you are taking an objective view of your life and what you see does not line up at all with what you’ve always said you wanted and what’s important to you, then let’s figure out how to bring everything we can into alignment. Sometimes it just takes a little scope – sometimes it requires full reconstructive surgery.

When it comes to helping my clients design lives that feed their mind, body and soul there are generally 4 key components involved:

• Values – Getting clarity on what’s truly most important to them
• Money – Determining how much money they think it will take to create the lifestyle they want.
• Organization and Scheduling – It’s important to get pretty rigorous in the beginning in terms of scheduling in their priorities so that fewer things can take them out.
• Accountability – Until this new way of being is second nature, accountability is key.

Let’s break each of them down in an abbreviated fashion here.

When it comes to values the most effective way to get at what’s really going on is to do this simple exercise.

Values

1) Complete this journaling prompt – The difference between the person I am being and the person I want to be is…. Set the timer and write for 10 minutes unedited. Once they do this then I talk about what happens when there is a gap and I also bring in information about their numerology blueprint if it is relevant. If there is a big gap between their Soul Number and their Persona, this might offer some good information as to why the person they are being or the person they show the world is not necessarily lining up with who they want to be.

2) Identify your top 3 values.

3) Imagine this. If I or someone else were to pull back the covers on your life or your business, what do you think we might identify as your top 3 values? Is there a gap? If so, why do you think there is a gap?

This usually creates some breakthroughs around how they talk vs how they walk. I don’t know about you but I’ve never met someone who likes realizing they aren’t walking their talk or talking their walk and that’s usually what comes up in this stage.

So, when it does we spend a lot of time talking about the values, why they chose the ones they did and what they think is getting in their way of acting on their behalf.

Money

Once we do that we move on to money. This is my favorite piece. Money is a highly charged topic and as you can imagine way too much comes up around this issue for me to discuss in a blog post; but, to make a pretty big generalization, most people realize that it takes far less than they think to have the lifestyle they want. Certainly there are some people who crave very opulent lifestyles and that requires a LOT of money but I don’t tend to attract too many of those types of clients so I’m not going to address that here.

The first thing I have people do when we talk about money is determine their number. You calculate this number By adding up ALL of your living, household, business, medical expenses, etc. as well as all of the other expenses you have such as shoe allowances, vacations you want to take, presents, debt, self-care, etc. I used to do this all by hand on my dinky little spreadsheet until I found out that Tim Ferriss had created an awesome tool that takes a lot of the guesswork out of it. You can find the Lifestyle Calculator here. (Caveat: This calculator only includes essentials. There is a category for misc where I guess you could put all of the other things you want but I like to line item those so I use this plus my own spreadsheet.)

My guess is you will realize your number is lower than you thought. So, once you identify that number you can determine what it’s going to take to get you there. The clients I have had that have gone through this exercise with an open mind and have followed through on the information they discovered have experienced amazing shifts in their lives. Some have stopped working so much, some have downsized so they could make less and have more freedom and others have become very clear that living a good life is never about the things or accumulation, it’s about the time they get each day to do what they love with the people they love.

Time Management

(ewww I hate that term!)

Once that piece is done we move on to scheduling. Lack of time is the thing that seems to take most people out so to not address it would be like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I don’t care who I am on the phone with, a business client, a lifestyle design client, or a friend, the issue of time is bound to come up. “I want to work out but I don’t have time, I want to hang out with my friends more but I don’t have time, I want to write the book but I don’t have time”.

That may very well be true but if being in better health or having more quality time with friends and family or being known as the expert in your field is one of your top values then time is the only thing that’s going to help you express it.

So, we get out the calendars and start marking them up. I usually like to do 2-3 weeks out and in a very systematic way we look at their top values and priorities and their typical work schedule and then plug all of those pieces in first.

Everyone’s calendar looks different so I am not going to attempt to do one here. The important thing is to make the things you say are a priority a priority and then follow through.

Accountability

Finally, accountability. Whether this comes from a coach you pay, a mastermind group or a friend, accountability can make a big difference in whether or not you follow through. The key here is to find someone you can trust, who supports you in your process but who also isn’t inclined to let you get away with something or slack.

When it comes to designing your ideal life there certainly is often more to it than I can address in this post. But maybe not. I personally don’t need schedules anymore to remind myself of what I want but that’s because I have been making decisions based on lifestyle first since I was 10 years old. If I am prepping for a race or something I may be more rigid in my scheduling but all of the pieces that are important to me, running, working out, time with family and friends and work are already built in to every one of my days.

The goal of going through this exercise is to find out where the gaps are, if any, and what pieces may need more attention. I don’t believe that your lifestyle happens to you. I believe you get to design it just like you get to design the interior of your house. It’s deliberate. It’s active. And it’s well worth it.