When it comes to mojo you may be oozing with the quality (meaning she’s got some serious mojo) or it may be so slight that only you know it’s there. In debates about mojo (yes I assure you there have been actual debates on this topic) some argue you either have it or you don’t. I don’t take so strict a view. While I do believe some people have more than others – more of the stuff that makes up their “it” factor – I have seen people who seemed to exude none transform into someone that made me and everyone else in their life say, “I want some of that”.

After all, that’s what we’re talking about. Mojo is that quality that’s often hard to pinpoint or describe. The “invisible touch” that Phil Collins wrote about or as the French say the Je ne sais quoi. I bet if I asked you to name the person you knew in high school or college who had the most mojo their name would roll off your tongue in a heartbeat – usually their names were Billy or Bradley or Molly or Alex. (As a numerologist I think my next research project will be finding out why that is!)

In any case these were the people who not only seemed to be smart, athletic and have some hidden genius you only found out about later (Really, you’ve been a concert pianist too for the past 10 years?) but they also drew people to them like magnets. Teachers liked them, even though their ability to draw major attention to themselves drove them crazy sometimes, parents loved that you hung out with them, the opposite sex fell hard for them and later in life they seemed to know all of the right people.

So, what is it that these people have and how can you get some of that?

I’ve read countless books and articles on this subject from best sellers to journal articles and nearly all of them contend that while bona fide charisma may be something we either have or don’t, we can learn how to maximize the “it” factor or mojo we do have. Here are a few of the qualities that define someone whose oozing with mojo and what you might be able to do to crank yours up a notch.

1. Likeable – This is one of my favorite ways to describe people who have mojo. They are likeable – when you are around them you feel good. They aren’t pretentious, even when you think they will be. They are aren’t ego driven, out for themselves, always wondering what you can do for them and they are up for just about anything. They don’t spend time gossiping or criticizing because they are too darn busy to waste energy on those kinds of things. And, they’re human. They aren’t perfect – they don’t try to be and they don’t pretend to be. There is a vulnerability about them that isn’t so self-deprecating that it’s annoying but that’s just utterly real.

Here are a few things to try to help you up your likeability factor:

• Listen – open your ears and close your mouth. Look people in the eye and pay attention to them – make them feel like your focus on them is not by accident.
• Smile – Nothing says approach me, I’m safe like a sincere smile.
• Drop the story and the mask and just be yourself – throw your hands in the air and say this is me without stories, excuses and apologies, whadda ya say?

2. Charisma – Think President Kennedy or maybe even President Clinton. Think about the friend you know that could sell you a bag of sand in the Sahara. I’ve heard charisma expressed as something just short of magic. In the “X Factors of Success” the author said “A charismatic leader acts as a bonding agent, allowing you to give in to the giddy togetherness of a peace rally or a line dance. You forget yourself in his company and climb into the palm of his hand. This intricate pas de deux is known as synchrony and may be the key to charisma.” People who are really charismatic can read a room brilliantly and they can respond quickly to what the “audience”, however big or small, needs.

Here’s a couple of idea to help you maximize your charisma:

• Visibly respond to the people with whom you come in contact. Mirror their body language, tune in to their energy.
• Relax.
• Speak with authority and conviction.
• Treat people as THEY want to be treated – not as YOU want to be treated.

3. Be Brave – This one is simple. People with serious mojo don’t play everything safe. They do things that make others shake their head and think “damn I wish I had the guts to go for something like that.” And, I’m not talking about the person who is on a constant quest for excitement to make up for something that is missing in their life but rather the people who have hopes and dreams and desires and go for it even when it’s scary.

Ways to show your bravery:

• Do something new today that you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid of doing for fear of looking stupid, falling, or embarrassing yourself. Trust me, nobody’s watching.
• Be provocative in your work, in your writing, in your life.
• Figure out a way to do what you want to do – even if it’s only for 10 minutes a day at first. 10 minutes spent doing what you’re passionate about can do wonders for your well being.

4. Find Joy in the every day, in every person, in everyflippin thing. Enough said.

5. Eat, Drink and Move. Enjoy your meals, practice moderation, drink lots of water and sometimes wine if you like and move your body outside every day. Simple but effective. Do your body good.

6. Expect the swings and enjoy the ride. Life ebbs and flows. Good day, bad day. Life, death. Expect the lows to happen and include them in your experience. It’s a ride you’ll be on til you take your last breath whether you are happy or not. Why not enjoy the ride?

While you may think mojo is reserved for the special, it’s not. And while you may not be the first person that comes to everyone’s minds when they hear the word, it doesn’t matter. If you want to bring a little bit more of it into your life, maximize what you do have and add a little spice to what’s already there.

And, if you want to enjoy an entire weekend devoted to helping you maximize your mojo with yoga, hiking, spa treatments, creativity workshops and intense business and career coaching, join me and my fabulous friend Sandy Grason for the next live Mojo Retreat this February and beautiful Boulder, CO.